Content warning: This article contains details of attempted suicide.

Sum 41 frontman Deryck Whibley and his wife Ari have spoken out for the first time about her suicide attempt eight years ago. Ari’s mental health struggle and the couple’s long journey to cope with her darkest day inspired Sum 41’s Order in Decline track “Catching Fire,” which was recently re-released featuring nothing,nowhere.

Ari’s attempted suicide was not planned. Instead, dark thoughts began to creep in as she was drinking at home alone. "I finally had let the feelings really consume me to where [dying] really did feel like the only option," Ari tells People.

As Ari attempted to end her life, a friend who used to live at the home stopped by to pick something up, finding Ari sitting in her car inside the home’s garage. "I just remember being absolutely terrified and embarrassed and ashamed and upset," Ari says. "It was easier to keep your deepest, darkest thoughts and demons inside."

It was only when Deryck experienced multiple organ failure, spending a month in the hospital in 2014, when the couple chose to sober up together. However, Ari’s former suicide attempt remained unspoken between the two. "I just couldn't stop thinking about it to a point where if I was working and I didn't know where she had gone, I'd get nervous and run through the whole house, making sure she was okay," Deryck explains.

As for “Catching Fire,” the Sum 41 songwriter penned the track shortly after the death of Linkin Park’s Chester Bennington. "It just felt so liberating," Deryck says. "It was almost like I was able to say everything I wanted to say within that song, because that's how I speak best. We were able to really move forward and be able to now talk about things like that."

Read the lyrics to Sum 41’s “Catching Fire” below. [via Genius]

[Verse 1]
I never told you how I felt
Though I thought I'd said it all
And I never knew you needed help
Well, 'cause you always seemed so tough
But now I'm here alone
Without you by my side
If only I had known
That you kept it all inside
Now I'm trying to understand
Just trying to find a way
But forgive you, I just can't
It's all just too much for me to take

[Chorus]
And if I failed you, well, I swear I tried my best
But now you're gone, so all your tears can lay to rest
Just so you know
You meant the world to us, I know that it's too late
And all I want's another chance, I can't accept that you have left

[Verse 2]
Look at all this damage done
Are you happy with yourself?
And we thought the best was yet to come
And, and I thought I knew you oh so well
And the days just go by
While the moment seems to last
Like catching fire
All is gone, and it all went up so fast

[Chorus]
And if I failed you, well, I swear I tried my best
And now you're gone, so all your tears can lay to rest
Just so you know
You meant the world to us, I know that it's too late
And all I want's another chance, I can't accept that you have left
That you have left

[Chorus]
And if I failed you, well, I swear I tried my best
But now you're gone, so all your tears can lay to rest
Just so you know
You meant the world to us, I know that it's too late
But all I want's another chance, I can't accept that you have left
That you have left

Ari continues to see a therapist to work on her mental health, while the couple welcomed a son, Lydon Igby, into the world right before the COVID-19 pandemic hit. "Good things come if you work hard, that's just what I've noticed in our life," Deryck says. "Everything we enjoy in our life and are happy for, we work for. And that includes mental health."

Sum 41 - Catching Fire ft. nothing,nowhere. (Official Music Video)

If you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts, visit the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline website. Resource information is provided for free as well as a chat message service. To speak directly to a professional, call 1-800-273-8255. You are not alone and help is available. Every life is important.

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